Who Should Be Youth's Friend
Your youth has recently begun spending a lot of time with an undesirable friend. This friend acts rudely toward you and your spouse‚ looks sleazy‚ skips school‚ smokes‚ and probably drinks. You suspect the friend may also be doing other things which you might disapprove of. You do not know the friend's family or what kind of people they are. You have begun to prohibit your youth from going places or doing things with this friend. Your youth objects strongly to your prohibitions. A number of very unpleasant disagreements have taken place between you and your youth over who should be his/her friends. You are concerned about what is going to happen next.
1. A decent youth knows what kind of people to avoid and what kind to befriend.
2. Teenagers who get involved with undesirable friends end up getting into serious trouble and ruining their futures.
3. Youths do not always conform to the behavior of their peer groups.
4. Parents should not interfere with their youths' friends because the teenager will be very angry at the parents.
5. Teenagers who look for and find undesirable friends were not taught proper values by their parents.
6. Parents might occasionally offer advice about an adolescent's choice of friends.
7. Teenagers should respect their parents' judgments and follow their advice about friends.
8. Teenagers try to upset their parents by hanging out with the wrong type of people.
How Money Spent
Your Adolescent spends money as if it were going of style. She/he is constantly spending money on things like albums‚ video games‚ magazines‚ or junk food. You try to encourage your youth to put money to good use and buy things like clothing or books or even to save his/her money. But it is no use. As soon as your youth gets money‚ it is spent with nothing to show for it.
1. Parents should not upset their teenager by disapproving of the way he/she spends own money.
2. Adolescents should be allowed some freedom in deciding how their money is to be spent.
3. Teenagers who waste their money on junk learned these bad habits from their parents.
4. Teenagers should always follow their parents' advice about spending money.
5. Adolescents should help their parents by spending their own money on clothing‚ books‚ and other necessities.
6. If a person does not learn to spend money wisely as a youth‚ he/she will end up deeply in debt as an adult.
7. Parents should encourage their youths to save some money for the future.
8. Teenagers waste their parents' hard-earned money and don't care about their parents’ financial position.
Being Nice to Teen’s Friend
Your teenager has a group of friends who always seem to be calling or coming over. At Time you feel as if you have no privacy. In addition‚ these friends are not as nice to you as you would like. They are loud and leave a mess. As a result‚ you are less than friendly :;= ':-2m. You won't speak to them when they come over and you are not nice to create- :-2 phone. This upsets your youth who is afraid that he/she will lose the friends.
1. Adolescents should not invite back into their home friends who have annoyed their parents.
2. Teenagers who bring all of their loud‚ messy friends over to visit want to harass their parents and drive them crazy.
3. Generally‚ family members should treat each other's friends with courtesy.
4. Adolescents should not choose friends who are unpleasant and discourteous.
5. Parents should not anger teenagers by complaining about their friends' rude behavior.
6. When visiting someone else's home‚ adolescents should be pleasant to their friend's parents.
7. Parents who cannot get along with their children's friends have serious personal inadequacies.
8. Parents should speak out when their teenager's friends are rude or else the teenager will also become rude and discourteous.
Spending Time Away from Home
Your teenager has recently begun spending a lot of time with friends. They meet after school‚ go to the movies‚ go shopping‚ and spend weekends together. You are concerned to that the family is not spending enough time together‚ and have suggested that your youth stay home with the family more often. However‚ your youth has not listened to your suggestions. Whenever you insist that the family spend more time together‚ an argument results. You may have to limit the amount of time your youth is permitted to spend with friends.
1. There are some experiences which teenagers can better share with their friend than their families.
2. Parents should not limit the amount of time a youth spends away from home because this is likely to make the youth very angry.
3. Adolescents spend a lot of time away from home because their parents nag them a lot and make them miserable at home.
4. Parents know best how much time an adolescent should spend with friends and at home with parents.
5. It is important for teenagers to spend some time with their parents.
6. Teenagers should value a close relationship with their family and should not have to be asked to spend time at home.
7. Teenagers who spend too much time with their friends will be influenced in bad directions and will do things that could ruin their futures.
8. Teenagers who spend most of their time with their friends are trying to hurt their parents.
Using the Telephone
Your youth gets quite a few phone calls each evening and spends a half hour or more on the telephone with each person who calls. When you want to use the phone‚ your teenager is often talking to a friend. You've asked your youth to make fewer or shorter calls‚ but all you have gotten is an angry refusal. Your youth states that he/she has a lot of important things to discuss. Often people tell you that they have been trying to call you‚ but your line is always busy. You're worried that you may be missing important calls. You are thinking about limiting your youth's phone privileges.
1. Parents should allow youths to have some telephone privileges.
2. Teenagers who spend hours on the telephone wish to anger their parents.
3. Parents should not restrict their adolescents' phone privileges because the teenagers might become very angry with their parents.
4. Youth should respect their parents' needs and ask permission before they use the telephone.
5. Teenagers learn to talk too much on the phone from parents who talk too much on the phone.
6. Teenagers who are constantly on the phone create serious problems for the family because important calls won't get through.
7. Teenagers should know that it is wrong to tie up the phone and should limit their calls without being asked.
8. Parents who are expecting a call should firmly instruct their adolescents to refrain from using the phone until the call is received.
Staying Out Past Curfew
When your teenager goes out on a date or with friends‚ you usually set a time by which he/she has to be home. Lately‚ your youth has been coming home one-half hour to an hour late‚ or he/she will call you at curfew time to request an extension. You have tried to talk to him/her about it‚ but arguments erupt. It is getting to the point where you cannot be sure when your teenager will be coming home. You are becoming increasingly angry.
1. Adolescents who stay out late with their friends are likely to get involved with sex‚ drugs‚ or alcohol and make mistakes which could ruin their lives.
2. When teenagers have a good reason to stay out later than planned‚ it is all right for parents to grant an extension.
3. Truly responsible youths should come home at a reasonable hour whether or not their parents set a curfew.
4. Youths should be discouraged from staying out past 2 A.M.
5. Teenagers should follow their parents' curfew because parents know what is best for them.
6. Adolescents stay out past their parents' curfew because their parents were so steict that they forced the adolescents to rebel.
7. Parents should not restrict their youths' curfew because the teenagers might get very angry at their parents.
8. Teenagers who come home late want to make their parents worry about t them.
Cleaning One's Room
Your adolescent's room is a mess. Clothes are not folded or hung up properly. Games‚ books‚ records‚ and clothing are scattered around the room and the bed is not made. When you ask for the room to be cleaned‚ he/she says that it's his/her own room and since they have to live in it they should be able to keep it the way they like it. When your youth finally does agree to clean the room‚ you find that he/she has merely stuffed his/her clothes and other articles into drawers‚ closets or under their bed. You can’t seem to win.
1. Responsible youths should be neat and tidy and take care of their belonging without parental nagging.
2. Parents have a right to request that youths try to keep their room looking decent.
3. Teenagers who are not taught to take proper care of their belongings grow up to be irresponsible and sloppy in their lifestyle and work habits as adults.
4. Teenagers should obey parents' requests to clean their rooms properly or be punished
5. Occasionally‚ parents might permit their youths to have a vacation from cleaning their room.
6. Adolescents who refuse to clean their room or take care of their belongings were taught these bad habits by their parents.
7. Parents should avoid nagging their teenagers about cleaning their room because nagging could lead to a bad parent-child relationship.
8. Teenagers who fail to clean their rooms are purposely showing blatant disregard for their parents' feelings.
Talking Back to Parent
Your teenager has been developing the bad habit of talking back to you in a sarcastic‚ nasty tone of voice. This lack of respect is extremely annoying and has been occurring more frequently in recent weeks. When you talk to your youth about this rudeness‚ your youth states that he/she is only being honest about his/her feelings. The situation is rapidly deteriorating‚ and you are not sure how to handle it.
1. Parents should avoid criticizing their teenagers for talking back because the teenagers will get very angry.
2. Adolescents should always talk to their parents in a courteous‚ respectful manner.
3. Youths should never be allowed to show disrespect toward their parents.
4. Teenagers talk back to their parents in order to hurt their feelings and get even with them for earlier punishments
5. Youths who talk rudely to their parents grow up to be delinquent adults who cannot respect authority
6. It is natural for teenagers to get angry with their parents.
7. Teenagers treat their parents rudely because they have observed the parents treating each other disrespectfully.
8. There is reason for parental concern when youths begin to mouth off towards their parents.
Earning Money Away from Home
Your youth has become very interested in getting an after-school job at a local party store. This Job would mean working long‚ late hours around the type of people you are not sure you want your youth to befriend. Besides‚ the job might interfere with homework and lead to lower school grades. When you try to discuss this calmly‚ it ends up in an argument. Your teenager accuses you of not trusting him/her.
1. Teenagers should understand that school comes before work and that they are too young for a late-night job.
2. It is wrong for parents to make their youth angry by refusing to permit them to have a part-time job.
3. It is important for teenagers to complete high school whether or not they have an after-school job.
4. A job can teach a teenager responsibility.
5. Adolescents who want an after-school Job do not receive enough money from their parents.
6. If a youth works after school‚ his/her grades will seriously suffer‚ crippling his/her chances of going to college or getting a better job after high school graduation.
7. Teenagers should obey their parents' advice concerning jobs since the parents have had a lot of experience with work.
8. Teenagers work after school to get even with their parents for not giving them enough money.
Helping Out Around the House
You have assigned the following chores around the house to your youngste: cleaning up his/her bedroom‚ washing the dishes‚ taking out the trash‚ and helping with the dusting and vacuuming. Your teenager always complains that you have given too much work. There isn't enough time for fun things. The chores aren't always done‚ and when they are done‚ not properly. You end up getting into many arguments about chores with the teenager.
1. Teenagers should always do their share of work around the house without being asked.
2. The responsibility for doing chores around the house is something that the whole family should share.
3. Youths should unquestioningly do any tasks that their parents assign.
4. If a youth really hates doing chores it is better to do them yourself than to risk getting the youth angry at you.
5. It is reasonable to expect youths to help clean around the house.
6. If a youth fails to do what a parent asks it is because the parent has not earned the youth's respect.
7. A youth who fails to learn responsibility at home through doing chores will grow up to be lazy and irresponsible.
8. Teenagers fail to complete their chores because they wish to punish their parents and make them do the extra work.
Who Should Be Youth's Friend
You have recently gotten to be close with a new friend. The two of you enjoy doing a lot of things together‚ including going to shopping malls‚ playing video games‚ and doing things after school together. Your parents do not like this friend at all. They complain that the friend talks rudely toward them‚ looks sloppy‚ skips school‚ and smokes and drinks. They also accuse your friend of doing other things which they disapprove. Recently‚ when you and your friend have wanted to do something together‚ your parents have dreamed up excuses to keep you home. They want to keep you from seeing this friend. A very unpleasant disagreement took place when you discussed this with them. You are not sure what will happen next.
1. Parents might occasionally offer advice about an adolescent's choice of friends.
2. If parents restrict a youth's friends‚ the youth will end up without any friends.
3. It is unfair for parents to restrict their teenagers from seeing certain friends.
4. There are times when parents offer their youths good advice about friends.
5. It is wrong for teenagers to upset their parents by spending time with friends whom the parents dislike.
6. Adolescents should be given the freedom to do whatever they chose with whomever they chose.
How Money Is Spent
You are able to make a small amount of money doing little jobs here and there and enjoy spending it. You spend your money on video games‚ record albums‚ concerts‚ and eating with your friends at places like McDonalds. Your parents‚ however‚ disapprove of how you spend your money. They accuse you of spending money as if it were going out of style. They are always telling you to save it or to start buying your own clothing or school supplies. You are really beginning to resent this.
1. If parents do not approve of how a youth is spending money‚ the youth sh0uld change his/her spending habits.
2. Parents should encourage their youths to save some money for the future.
3. Adolescents should be allowed some freedom in deciding how their money is spent.
4. It is not fair for parents to tell teenagers how to spend the teenager's own money.
5. Adolescents should be permitted to spend their own money any way they please without parental interference.
6. If teenagers follow parents' suggestions for spending money‚ they will never get to have any fun or buy nice things.
Being Nice to Teen's Friends
You have a small group of friends whom you really like. They often telephone you or come over to visit you. You have noticed‚ however‚ that your parents are usually unfriendly them. They accuse you and your friends of invading their privacy and of being loud and making a mess in the house. Your parents won't speak to your friends when they come over and are not nice to them on the phone. You are afraid that if something does not change soon‚ your friends are going to start feeling uncomfortable about calling or visiting you.
1. Generally‚ family members should treat each other's friends with courtesy.
2. If parents are rude to a teenager's friends‚ they will drive all of the friends away.
3. It is totally unfair for parents to be rude to their children's friends.
4. Parents should permit their adolescents' friends to do and say whatever they want when they visit in the home.
5. It is extremely upsetting if a youth's parents don't approve of his/her friends.
6. When visiting someone else's home‚ adolescents should be pleasant to their friend’s parents.
Spending Time Away from Home
You have a couple of close friends with whom you spend a lot of time. You stay at each other’s house on weekends‚ hang around together after school‚ go shopping and see movies together. Lately‚ your parents have been asking you to stay home with them more. When you insist on spending time with your friends‚ you end up getting into an argument. Your parents are now talking about limiting the time you spend away from home with friends.
1. There are some experiences which teenagers can better share with their friends than their families.
2. Parents should let their youths decide for themselves how and where to spend free time.
3. Teenagers who spend a lot of time away from home with their friends do not really care about their parents.
4. Youth whose parents make them stay home will stop being asked out and lose the friends that they have made.
5. It is terribly unfair for parents to ask their adolescents to stay home when they could be out having fun with their friends.
6. It is important for teenagers to spend some time with their parents.
Using the Telephone
You get quite a few phone calls from your friends every evening. Often you spend a half an hour or more on the phone with each person who calls. Your parents become upset when they catch you spending too much time on the phone. They say that someone may be trying to reach them. You‚ however‚ cannot imagine who would be trying to call and have a lot of important things to say to your friends. Your parents are trying to limit your phone privileges‚ but you are resisting.
1. Teenagers should comply with their parents' request to talk less on the phone to avoid angering parents.
2. When someone is expecting a call‚ the line should be kept free until the call comes in.
3. If parents restrict the time their youth can talk on the phone‚ no one will ever call or be friendly with the youth.
4. It is unfair for parents to put limits on telephone time.
5. It is reasonable for parents to expect their youth to talk on the phone less than 45 minutes per day.
6. Youths should be permitted to have their own phones and spend as much time making calls as they please.
Staying Out Past Curfew
Your social life has really begun to improve. You have been spending many everything hanging out with your friends or dating. Your parents always tell you to come home to early. Just as you start to have a really good time‚ it's time to go home. Most of your 'I friends get to stay out later than you. Recently‚ you have been coming home one-half hour to one hour late‚ or calling your parents at curfew time to request an extension. Your parents are giving you a real hassle about this. When you try to explain your view to them‚ an argument starts up.
1. Teenagers whose parents make them come home early will lose all of their friends and be very depressed and lonely.
2. It is very unfair for parents to make teenagers come home earlier than their friends.
3. No matter what‚ adolescents should never stay out past their curfew because their parents will worry a lot and become upset.
4. Teenagers should be able to come home as late as they wish.
5. It is reasonable for parents to want to know what time their children are going come home.
6. When teenagers have a good reason to stay out later than planned‚ it is all right grant them an extension.
Cleaning One's Room
Your parents nag you daily to clean your room and take care of your belongings. They discribe your room as a pig sty and complain about clothes being allover‚ the bed not made‚ and records and books being all over. You don't mind living in a messy room‚ but you’re parents can't stand even a little mess. This is hard to understand because you're the one who has to live in the room‚ not your parents. When you do clean your room‚ then the they complain that you did not do a thorough Job. You can't seem to win.
1. Youth should be permitted to decide for themselves how clean they want their room to be.
2. It is best for adolescents to obey their parents' demands to keep their room clean so that the parents won't get mad.
3. It is terribly unfair for parents to expect teenagers to keep their room as clean as the parents want.
4. Occasionally parents might permit their youths to have a vacation from cleaning their room.
5. If a teenager keeps the room as neat as parents demand‚ the parents will soon demand the teenager start cleaning the whole house‚ mow the grass‚ shovel snow‚ and do all kinds of extra chores.
6. Parents have the right to ask their teenagers to hang up their coats when they come home.
Talking Back to Parents
Your parents often accuse you of talking to them in a sarcastic‚ nasty tone of voice. They are always asking you a lot of nosy questions which you tell them you do not want to answer. You don't feel you are being nasty to them; you are merely being honest. There is no nice way to let your parents know that you don't want to answer their questions.
1. Teenagers should show their parents a certain amount of respect.
2. There are some areas of a teenager's life which are private and should not be shared with their parents.
3. Teenagers should be free to say whatever they wish to their parents without being accused of talking back.
4. It is terrible for adolescents to hurt their parents' feelings by talking back.
5. It is not fair for parents to ask teenagers very personal questions and then accuse them of talking back if the teenagers refuse to answer.
6. Teenagers who cannot learn to stand up to their parents will be unable to stand up to others when they are adults.
Earning Money Away from Home
You have an opportunity to get a job at a local party store. The pay is very good. In fact you'd be making more money than any of your friends. But‚ you would have to work long hours‚ and often wouldn't get home until very late. Your parents are afraid that your grades will suffer. Also‚ they don't like the people that hang out around the party store. You really want the job‚ but whenever you talk to your parents about it‚ you end up in an argument.
1. A job teaches teenagers responsibility.
2. It is important for teenagers to complete high school whether or not they have an after school job.
3. Teenagers are perfectly capable of deciding whether they can handle a job and school without their parents' advice.
4. Parents who stop their teenagers from having part-time jobs are acting unfairly.
5. Teenagers should not upset their parents by wanting to take a job when it is against their parents' wishes.
6. Without a job a teenager will never have the money to have a good time and will end up severely depressed and suicidal.
Helping Out Around the House
You have been given the following chores around the house by your parents: cleaning up your room‚ washing the dishes‚ taking out the garbage‚ and helping with the dusting and vacuuming. This is too much work. You complain‚ but your parents don't listen. You hate chores. They cut into time better spent with your friends. When you do the chores your parents bug you; they say you did a lousy job. You get into a big hassle and argument with your parents about chores.
1. If teenagers have to do a lot of work around the house they will grow up to be dull‚ stupid‚ uninteresting bores that no one will like.
2. It is terribly unfair for parents to make teenagers do a lot of work.
3. It is reasonable for parents to expect their youths to do some work around the house.
4. Teenagers should be able to decide for themselves how much work they want to do around the house.
5. It is better to do what parents ask rather than risk them being mad at you.
6. The responsibility for doing chores is something the whole family should share.
For the parents: Ruination‚ Obedience‚ Perfectionism‚ Approval‚ self-blame‚ and malicious intent.
For the adolescents: Ruination‚ Autonomy‚ Approval‚ and unfairness.
Approval (0.67- 0.84 for fathers‚ 0.65-0.78 for mothers‚ 0.82-0.83 for adolescent
1= Do not agree at all‚ 2= Agree very little‚ 3= Agree a little‚ 4= Moderately agree‚ 5= Agree a lot‚ 6= Mostly agree‚ 7=Totally agree
This instrument can be found at:
Fischer‚ Joel.‚ Corcoran‚ Kevin J. (2007). Measures for Clinical Practice and research: A sourcebook. (4th ed.). NY. Oxford University Pr. Vol. 1‚ Page (s): 253-267.
Roehling‚ P. V.‚ Robin A. L. (1986). Development and validation of the Family Belief's Inventory: a measure of unrealistic beliefs among parents and adolescents. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology‚ 54(5)‚ 693-697.
Roehling‚ P. V.‚ Robin A. L. (1986). The Family Belief's Inventory. IN Fischer‚ Joel.‚ Corcoran‚ Kevin J. (2007 ). Measures for Clinical Practice and research: A sourcebook. (4th ed.). NY. Oxford University Pr. Vol. 1‚ Page (s): 253-267.