Codependency Inventory

Codependency Inventory
Rich‎ard Matthew‚ ????
 
1.    When you get anxious‚ do you attempt to control the behavior or feelings of others?
2.    Do you feel responsible for making sure the needs of others are met? 
3.    Do you put your own needs aside in an attempt to meet the needs of others?
4.    Do you allow others to determine how you (one point each):
·         Dress
·         look physically
·         think
·         feel
·         behave
5.    Do you try to control how others (one point each):
·         Dress
·         look physically
·         think
·         feel
·         behave        
6.    Do you have difficulty setting healthy boundaries in any of the following areas (one point each):
·         touching or being touched
·         giving or receiving sexual advances
·         stating clearly your thoughts‚ beliefs‚ opinions
·         blaming and/or being blamed for your feelings ("you make me feel...")
·         blaming and/or being blamed for your actions ("you made me do...")
·         blaming and/or being blamed for the actions of others ("it's your fault that...")
7.    Do you get into relationships with people who (one point each):
·         physically abuse you or your children
·         emotionally abuse you or your children
·         verbally abuse you or your children
·         are chemically dependent (substance abusers)
·         are emotionally unresponsive
·         are physically unresponsive
·         are sexually unresponsive
·         are rage-a-holics so that you must walk on eggshells
·         are perfectionists that you can never please
·         are jealous and/or controlling of you or your time
·         are emotionally immature
·         are workaholics
·         are sexually addicted‚ overly demanding‚ emotionally or sexually unfaithful   
   
8.    Do you find yourself (one point each):
·         unable to remember much of your childhood
·         dissociating or daydreaming when strong emotions are being expressed
·         dissociating during sex
·         minimizing your addictive behaviors
·         minimizing your unhealthy relationships
·         minimizing or denying your family of origin issues
·         denying your own or your spouse's addictive behaviors
·         denying the unhealthy nature of your relationships
·         denying the dysfunction in your family of origin
·         denying that you have made the same mistakes as your parents         
9.    Do you have difficulty with healthy emotional expression‚ such as (one point each):
·         tending to fly off the handle and dump anger on others
·         tending to repress anger and/or cover it with a smile
·         feeling embarrassed or ashamed about crying in front of others
·         minimizing your feelings and talking yourself out of them
·         experiencing depression
·         experiencing panic attacks
·         experiencing generalized anxiety
·         feeling out of control emotionally
·         feeling uncomfortable when others express strong emotions    
 
10.Are you addicted to (one point each):
·         alcohol
·         street drugs
·         prescription drugs
·         food
·         sugar
·         caffeine
·         tobacco
·         spending
·         sex
·         romance
·         relationships
·         gambling
·         chaos or drama       
11.Has there been any of the following abuse in your family of origin or your previous relationships           (one point each):
·         overt sexual abuse with physical contact
·         overt sexual abuse without physical contact (voyeurism‚ exhibitionism)
·         verbal sexual abuse
·         being "spousified" by either parent
·         physical abuse
·         emotional abuse
·         social abuse (shaming you about your friends‚ keeping you isolated)
·         physical neglect or abandonment
·         emotional neglect or abandonment
·         spiritual or religious abuse
·         overprotection        
12.Are you a caretaker‚ such as (one point each):
·         doing more than your fair share of the work
·         saying "yes" when you want to say "no"
·         feeling compelled to help others solve their problems
·         offering unsolicited advice‚ giving rapid fire solutions to others
·         doing for others what they are quite able to do for themselves‚ and resenting it
·         feeling attracted to needy people
·         over-committing yourself and feeling pressured and overwhelmed
·         feeling powerless to change these patterns
·         feeling suicidal         
13.Does your fear of abandonment have any of the following consequences (one point each):
·         hold onto unhealthy relationships rather than risk being alone
·         seek approval so the other person won't leave
·         lie rather than confront the truth
·         become jealous when your spouse has outside interests
·         engage in sexual acts that are uncomfortable for you
·         compulsively diet‚ purge‚ or risk an eating disorder to look good
·         get upset when your spouse‚ lover‚ children are late
·         abandon or leave people before they can leave you
·         have difficulty being without a relationship
14.Do you or your family have a large investment in looking good‚ such as (one point each):
·         doing or not doing things because of what others might think
·         achieving or performing more for approval than for personal satisfaction
·         never expressing any strong emotions
·         believing that what others think is more important than your own wants‚ needs‚ or feelings
·         following the unspoken or spoken rule of "we don't air our dirty laundry in public"     
15.Were/are the following rules (spoken or not) enforced in your family (one point each):
·         don't speak (children should be seen and nor heard)
·         don't communicate directly (tell mom and she'll tell dad)
·         don't express your anger or frustration (shame on you...you're being disrespectful)
·         don't have needs (you're selfish)
·         don't ask for what you want
·         don't be yourself
·         don't confront our behavior‚ don't make waves
·         don't trust your intuition‚ don't trust anyone        
 
Instructions: Give yourself one point for each yes answer.