1. I am often at a loss as to what to say or do when I’m in disagreement with my spouse.
2. Sexual compatibility is something of a mystery to me; it is something that just happens.
3. Putting effort into the relationship will practically guarantee a successful marriage.
4. Difficulties with my spouse start with chance remarks.
5. If my marriage were to end in divorce‚ I would suspect that I had not tried hard enough to make it work.
6. The unhappy times in our marriage just seem to happen regardless of what I am doing.
7. Circumstances play a very limited role in causing marital satisfaction it is largely effort and concern that matter.
8. When things begin to go rough in my marriage I can see that I had a part in it.
9. Raising children effectively is really just a matter of trying one's best; chance has absolutely nothing to do with it.
10.I find that external circumstances like day to day events can have considerable influence on how my spouse and I get along.
11.I can always bring about reconciliation when my spouse and I have an argument.
12.When I want my spouse to do something he/she hadn't planned on‚ it's often difficult to bring him/her around to my way of thinking.
13.Misunderstandings between my spouse and I are generally purely circumstantial.
14.Some effort on my part is all that is required in order to bring about pleasant experiences in our marriage.
15.having a satisfactory sexual relationship with one's spouse is partly a matter of luck.
16.When we have unpleasant experiences in our marriage I can always see how I have helped to bring them about.
17.Circumstances of one sort or another play a major role in determining whether my marriage functions smoothly.
18.My spouse and I can get along happily in spite of the most trying circumstances if we decide to.
19.If parents discipline their children conscientiously they are sure to be well behaved.
20.If my spouse and I were to experience sexual difficulties‚ we would certainly be able to overcome them.
21.Successful child-rearing is a result of some good fortune along the way.
22.If my marriage were a long‚ happy one I'd say that I must just be very lucky.
23.Even with the most loving couples a mutually satisfying emotional relationship doesn't just happen‚ it is the result of the couple working at it.
24.At times‚ there just doesn't seem to be any way out of a disagreement with my spouse.
25.Is seems to me that maintaining a smooth functioning marriage is simply a skill; things like luck don't come into it.
26.Good communication between spouses is simply a matter of learning and applying the skills; nothing can interfere with good communication.
27.It's more often up to my spouse to make an argument end peaceably.
28.How well your kids grow up depends very much on external factors like what kind of neighborhood you live in.
29.If my sexual relationship with my spouse was not entirely satisfactory‚ I would say that I wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship.
30.When I look over the course of my marriage I can't help but wonder if it was destined that way.
31.Good clear communication between spouses doesn't depend on things like compatibility or personality but on constant practice.
32.Couples who don't run into any marital conflict at some point in their marriage have simply been very lucky.
33.A little planning can prevent most of the conflicts that occur between spouses over childrearing.
34.Problems in our marriage never seem to sort themselves out over time? we usually end up having to do something about them.
35.I seem to have relatively little influence over when the intimate moments in our marriage will occur; they seem to happen of their own accord.
36.My spouse and I get along well because we have the interpersonal skills? not because of things like luck or temperament.
37.My spouse's moods are often mysterious to me in that I have little idea as to what may have set them off.
38.There are always things I can do that will help to end an argument with my spouse that leave us feeling better.
39.Some kids are unmanageable in spite of their parents' best efforts at discipline.
40.Couples who have a satisfying emotional relationship are constantly trying to improve their relationship; a good relationship doesn't just develop spontaneously.
41.When my spouse and I are communicating effectively we aren't doing anything in particular to make it happen.
42.How well I get along with my spouse depends very much on how he/she is feeling that day.
43.Happy times in our marriage don't just happen by chance; planning is usually required.
44.Something more than a couple's intentions and abilities are needed to bring about a mutually satisfying emotional relationship; it's really a kind of special magic that is there or isn't.
1. When I want my spouse to do something she/he hadn’t planned on‚ there’s little that I can do to bring her/him around to my way of thinking.
2. I am often at a loss as to what to say or do when I’m in disagreement with my spouse.
3. More often than not some effort on my part can help to resolve marital problems.
4. I can often help to bring about reconciliation when my spouse and I have an argument.
5. My spouse’s moods are often mysterious to me‚ in that I have little idea as to what may have set them off.
6. I often find my spouse’s behavior to be unpredictable.
7. During disagreements I can often do or say something that will improve the situation.
8. My spouse’s behavior is understandable to me.
9. Happy times in our marriage just seem to happen with little or no effort on my part.
10.Often my spouse’s mood state will be in response to something I’ve said or done.
11.There are things I can do that will be in response to something I’ve said or done.
12.Circumstances of on sort or another play a major role in determining whether my marriage functions smoothly.
13.When we’re in conflict my spouse will more often be the one to help us become reconciled.
14.Some effort is usually required on my part in order to bring about pleasant experiences in our marriage.
15.When we have unpleasant experiences in our marriage I can often see how I have helped to bring them about.
16.It’s more often up to my spouse to make an argument end peaceably.
17.The unhappy times in our marriage just seem to happen regardless of what I am doing.
18.When we have difficulties in our marriage there seems to be little that my spouse and I are able to do to bring about a reconciliation.
19.I can often persuade my spouse to do something that he/she hadn’t planned on doing.
20.Circumstances play a very limited role in causing marital satisfaction; it is largely effort and concern that matter.
21.I often find that men are more difficult to understand than are woman.
22.When I have difficulties in my interactions with men‚ I find that time is a better healer than anything I could do.
23.Men seem less predictable than women.
24.Women are more perplexing to me than men.
25.When I encounter problems in my interactions with women there seems to be little I can do to turn the situation around.
26.Women are more reliable in their interactions with me than are men.
+1 = I agree a little‚ +2 = I agree very much‚ 0 = Neither agree nor disagree‚ -1 = I disagree a little‚ -2 = I disagree very much
Score = 132+ external score- internal score
External (items: 1‚ 2‚ 4‚ 6‚ 10‚ 12‚ 13‚ 15‚ 17‚ 21‚ 22‚ 24‚ 27‚ 28‚ 30‚ 32‚ 35‚ 37‚ 39‚ 41‚ 42‚ and 44)‚ Internal (items: 3‚ 5‚ 7‚ 8‚ 9‚ 11‚ 14‚ 16‚ 18‚ 19‚ 20‚ 23‚ 25‚ 26‚ 29‚ 31‚ 33‚ 34‚ 36‚ 38‚ 40‚ and 43)
Effort (items: 3‚ 5‚ 7‚ 9‚ 14‚ 18‚ 23‚ 29‚ 31 and 40); Ability (items: 8‚ 11‚ 16 ‚ 19‚ 20‚ 25‚ 26‚ 33‚ 34‚ 36‚ 38‚ and 43); Context (items: 1‚ 2‚ 6‚ 10‚ 12‚ 13‚ 17‚ 24‚ 27‚ 28‚ 35‚ 37‚ 39‚ 41‚ and 42); Luck (items: 4‚ 15‚ 21‚ 22‚ 30‚ 32 and 44)
This instrument can be found at: Healthy Marriages Compendium
Corcoran‚ K.‚ & Fischer‚ J. (2000). Measures for clinical practice: A sourcebook (Vol.1). New York‚ NY: The Free Press.