1. Asking or suggesting to someone new that you get together and do something‚ e.g.‚ go out together.
2. Telling a companion you don’t like a certain way he or she has been treating you.
3. Revealing something intimate about yourself while talking with someone you’re just getting to know.
4. Helping a close companion work through his or her thoughts and feelings about a major life decision‚ e.g.‚ a career choice.
5. Being able to admit that you might be wrong when a disagreement with a close companion begins to build into a serious fight.*
6. Finding and suggesting things to do with new people whom you find interesting and attractive.*
7. Saying “no” when a date/acquaintance asks you to do something you don’t want to do.
8. Confiding in a new friend/date and letting him or her see your softer‚ more sensitive side.*
9. Being able to patiently and sensitively listen to a companion “let off steam” about outside problems s/he is having.
10.Being able to put begrudging (resentful) feelings aside when having a fight with a close companion.
11.Carrying on conversations with someone new whom you think you might like to get to know.
12.Turning down a request by a companion that is unreasonable.
13.Telling a close companion things about yourself that you’re ashamed of.
14.Helping a close companion get to the heart of a problem s/he is experiencing.*
15.When having a conflict with a close companion‚ really listening to his or her complaints and not trying to “read” his/her mind.
16.Being an interesting and enjoyable person to be with when first getting to know people.
17.Standing up for your rights when a companion is neglecting you or being inconsiderate.
18.Letting a new companion get to know the “real you.”*
19.Helping a close companion cope with family or roommate problems.
20.Being able to take a companion’s perspective in a fight and really understand his or her point of view.*
21.Introducing yourself to someone you might like to get to know (or date).*
22.Telling a date/acquaintance that he or she is doing something that embarrasses you.
23.Letting down your protective “outer shell” and trusting a close companion.*
24.Being a good and sensitive listener for a companion who is upset.
25.Refraining from saying things that might cause a disagreement to build into a big fight.
26.Calling (on the phone) a new date/acquaintance to set up a time to get together and do something.*
27.Confronting your close companion when he or she has broken a promise.*
28.Telling a close companion about the things that secretly make you feel anxious or afraid.
29.Being able to say and do things to support a close companion when s/he is feeling down.*
30.Being able to work through a specific problem with a companion without resorting to global accusations (“you always do that”).
31.Presenting good first impressions to people you might like to become friends with (or date).
32.Telling a companion that he or she has done something to hurt your feelings.*
33.Telling a close companion how much you appreciate and care for him or her.
34.Being able to show genuine empathetic concern even when a companion’s problem is uninteresting to you.
35.When angry with a companion‚ being able to accept that s/he has a valid point of view even if you don’t agree with that view.
36.Going to parties or gatherings where you don’t know people well in order to start up new relationships.
37.Telling a date/acquaintance that he or she has done something that made you angry.*
38.Knowing how to move a conversation with a date/acquaintance beyond superficial talk to really get to know each other.
39.When a close companion needs help and support‚ being able to give advice in ways that arewell received.*
40.Not exploding at a close companion (even when it is justified) in order to avoid a damaging conflict.*
* Items at brief version