The Relationship between Conflict‚ Communication‚ and Sex

Conflict, communication, and sex are all intertwined and can have a powerful effect on relationships. Conflict is inevitable in relationships, and how it is handled can have a huge impact on the health of the relationship. Communication is the key to resolving conflicts and can make or break a relationship. Sex is an important part of relationships, and can be affected by conflict and communication. Conflict is a normal part of relationships, and how it is handled can make or break a relationship. If conflict is not addressed in a healthy way, it can lead to resentment, anger, and even physical violence. It is important to talk about the issue at hand and be willing to compromise. Communication is the key to resolving conflicts and can help to create a more harmonious relationship. Communication is essential for a healthy relationship. It is important to be able to talk openly and honestly about feelings, needs, and expectations. Good communication can help to resolve conflicts, build trust, and create a deeper connection between partners. Sex is an important part of relationships, and can be affected by conflict and communication. If communication is lacking, it can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings, which can lead to a lack of intimacy. If conflicts are not addressed, it can lead to resentment and anger, which can lead to a lack of desire for physical intimacy. The relationship between conflict, communication, and sex is complex and can have a powerful effect on relationships. Conflict is inevitable in relationships, and how it is handled can make or break a relationship. Communication is the key to resolving conflicts and can help to create a more harmonious relationship. Sex is an important part of relationships, and can be affected by conflict and communication. Good communication and healthy conflict resolution are essential for a healthy relationship.
BACKGROUND INVENTORY
The following questions deal with your personal history and current experience with love and romantic relationships. Please answer each question. se‎lect only one answer per item.
1. I am a: (A) Male (B) Female
2. My ethnic heritage is:
(A) Asian or Pacific Islander‚ (B) African American (Black)‚ not of Hispanic origin‚ (C) Mexican-American‚ Hispanic‚ (D) European-American (Anglo)‚ (E) Other
3. My age is:
(A) 19 or less‚ (B) 20-22‚ (C) 23-30‚ (D) 31-40‚ (E) 41 or over
4. The quality of my parent’s marriage is/was (if deceased or divorced):
(A) Very good‚ (B) Good‚ (C) Average‚ (D) Poor‚ (E) Very poor
5. The way I feel about myself generally is:
(A) Very positive‚ (B) Positive‚ (C) Average‚ (D) Negative‚ (E) Very negative
6. I would describe my life right now as:
(A) Very happy‚ (B) Happy‚ (C) Okay‚ (D) Unhappy‚ (E) Very unhappy
7. I would describe myself as:
(A) very outgoing‚ (B) Outgoing‚ (C) Average‚ (D) Quiet‚ (E) very quiet
Love and Relationship Biography
Lund‚ 1985
8. Are you currently in a romantic relationship? (A) Yes (B) No
9. If you answered yes‚ how long have you been in the romantic relationship?
(A) One month or less‚ (B) 1-3 months‚ (C) Three months to a year‚ (D) over one year (E) Not in a romantic relationship
10. Do you live with your relationship partner?
(A) Yes‚ (B) No‚ (C) Not in a romantic relationship
11. What is your relationship status?
(A) Casual dating‚ (B) Serious dating‚ (C) Engaged (D) Married‚ (E) Divorced
12. How often do you see your romantic partner?
(A) Daily or several times a day‚ (B) Every couple of days‚ (C) Once a week‚ (D) Not often-long distance relationship‚ (E) Not in romantic relationship
13. How many times have you been in love?
(A) None‚ (B) One‚ (C) Two‚ (D) Three to five‚ (E) More than five
14. Are you in love now? If “yes”‚ how long?
(A) No‚ (B) yes‚ one month or less‚ (C) Yes‚ one to three months‚ (D) Yes‚ three months to one year‚ (E) Yes‚ over one year
15. Have you fallen out of love or had a relationship break up in the last few months?
(A) yes‚ (B) no
16. If you are currently involved in a romantic relationship‚ is your relationship a sexual relationship?
(A) Not in a relationship‚ (B) No‚ it is not sexual‚ (C) Yes‚ it is a sexual relationship
17. How many previous sexual relationships have you been involved in?
(A) None‚ (B) One‚ (C) Two‚ (D) Three‚ (E) Four or more
18. How much sexual desire do you currently experience for your partner?
(A) Not in a relationship‚ (B) No sexual desire‚ (C) Very little desire‚ (D) Moderate desire‚ (E) High sexual desire
19. Is your romantic partner:
(A) Male‚ (B) Female‚ (C) not in a relationship
20. How likely is it that your current relationship will be permanent?
(A) Very unlikely‚ (B)‚ (C) Uncertain‚ (D)‚ (E) Very likely
21. How likely is it that you and your partner will be together six months from now?
(A) Very unlikely‚ (B)‚ (C) Uncertain‚ (D)‚ (E) Very likely
22. In your opinion‚ how committed is your partner to this relationship?
(A) Not much‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Very committed
23. How committed are you to this relationship?
(A) Not much‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Very committed
Hendrick’s (1988)
24. How well does your partner meet your needs?
(A) Poorly‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Extremely Well
25. In general‚ how satisfied are you with your relationship?
(A) Unsatisfied‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Extremely Satisfied
26. How good is your relationship compared to most?
(A) Poor‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Excellent
27. How often do you wish you hadn’t gotten into this relationship?
(A) Never‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Very Often
28. To what extent has your relationship met your original expectations?
(A) Hardly at all‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Completely
29. How much do you love your partner?
(A) Not much‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Very Much
30. How many problems are there in your relationship?
(A) Very few‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Very many
Love Attitudes Scale (LAS)
C. Hendrick and Hendrick’s (1998)
Listed below are several statements that reflect different attitudes about love. For each statement fill in the response on the Scantron answer sheet that indicates how much you agree or disagree with the statement. The items refer to a specific love relationship. Whenever possible‚ answer the questions with your most current partner in mind. If you are not currently dating anyone‚ answer the questions with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never been in love‚ answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be.
For each statement
A = Strongly agree with the statement
B = Moderately agree with the statement
C = Neutral- neither agree nor disagree
D = Moderately disagree with the statement
E = Strongly disagree with the statement
31. My partner and I have the right physical “chemistry” between us.
32. I feel that my partner and I were meant for each other.
33. My partner and I really understand each other.
34. My partner fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness.
35. I believe that what my partner doesn’t know about me won’t hurt him/her.
36 I have sometimes had to keep my partner from finding out about other lovers.
37. My partner would get upset if he/she knew of some of the things I’ve done with other people.
38. I enjoy playing the “game of love” with my partner and a number of other partners.
39. Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship.
40. Our friendship merged gradually into love over time.
41. Our love is really a deep friendship‚ not a mysterious‚ mystical emotion.
42. Our love relationship is the most satisfying because it developed from a good friendship.
43. A main consideration in choosing my partner was how he/she would reflect on my family.
44. An important factor in choosing my partner was whether or not he/she would be a good parent.
45. One consideration in choosing my partner was how he/she would reflect on my career.
46. Before getting very involved with my partner‚ I tried to figure out how compatible his/her hereditary background would be with mine in case we ever had children.
47. When my partner doesn’t pay attention to me‚ I feel sick all over.
48. Since I’ve been in love with my partner‚ I’ve had trouble concentrating on anything else.
49. I cannot relax if I suspect that my partner is with someone else.
50. If my partner ignores me for a while‚ I sometimes do stupid things to try to get his/her attention back.
51. I would rather suffer than let my partner suffer.
52. I cannot be happy unless I place my partner’s happiness before my own.
53. I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my partner achieve his/hers.
54. I would endure all things for the sake of my partner.
55. If two people are in love‚ it is natural for them to have sex.
Respect Scale
S. Hendrick and Hendrick’s (2006)
Feelings of respect are important for many types of social relationships. We are interested in how respect might be related to romantic relationships. Whenever possible‚ answer the question below with your current partner in mind.
For each statement:
A = Strongly agree with the statement
B = Moderately agree with the statement
C = Neutral- neither agree or disagree
D = Moderately disagree with the statement
E = Strongly disagree with the statement
56. I respect my partner.
57. I am interested in my partner as a person.
58. I am a source of “healing” for my partner.
59. I honor my partner.
60. I approve of the person my partner is.
61. I communicate well with my partner.
62. My partner respects me.
63. My partner is interested in me as a person.
64. My partner is a source of “healing” for me.
65. My partner honors me.
66. My partner approves of the person I am.
67. My partner communicates well with me.
68. I have self respect.
C. Hendrick‚ Hendrick‚ and Reich’s (2006)
Listed below are several statements that reflect different attitudes about sex. For each statement fill in the response on the answer sheet that indicates how much you agree or disagree with that statement. Some of the items refer to a specific sexual relationship‚ while others refer to general attitudes and beliefs about sex. Whenever possible‚ answer the questions with your current partner in mind. If you are not currently dating anyone‚ answer the questions with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never had a sexual relationship‚ answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be.
A = Strongly agree with the statement
B = Moderately agree with the statement
C = Neutral- neither agree or disagree
D = Moderately disagree with the statement
E = Strongly disagree with the statement
69. I do not need to be committed to a person to have sex with him/her.
70. Casual sex is acceptable.
71. I would like to have sex with many partners.
72. One-night stands are sometimes very enjoyable.
73. It is okay to have ongoing sexual relationships with more than one person at a time.
74. Sex as a simple exchange of favors is okay if both people agree to it.
75. The best sex is with no strings attached.
76. Life would have fewer problems if people could have sex more freely.
77. It is possible to enjoy sex with a person and not like that person very much.
78. It is okay for sex to be just good physical release.
79. Birth control is part of responsible sexuality.
80. A woman should share responsibility for birth control.
81. A man should share responsibility for birth control.
82. Sex is the closest form of communication between two people.
83. A sexual encounter between two people deeply in love is the ultimate human interaction.
84. At its best‚ sex seems to be the merging of two souls.
85. Sex is a very important part of life.
86. Sex is usually an intensive‚ almost overwhelming experience.
87. Sex is best when you let yourself go and focus on your own pleasure.
88. Sex is primarily the taking of pleasure from another person.
89. The main purpose of sex is to enjoy oneself.
90. Sex is primarily physical.
91. Sex is primarily a bodily function‚ like eating.
Miller‚ Berg‚ and Archer’s (1983)
Listed below are several statements that reflect different approaches to interpersonal communication. For each statement fill in the response on the answer sheet that indicates how much you agree or disagree with that statement as it applies to your own behavior.
For each statement:
A = Strongly agree with the statement
B = Moderately agree with the statement
C = Neutral- neither agree or disagree
D = Moderately disagree with the statement
E = Strongly disagree with the statement
I HAVE TALKED ABOUT THE FOLLOWING SUBJECTS TO A LOVE PARTNER
92. My personal habits.
93. Things I have done which I feel guilty about.
94. Things I wouldn’t do in public.
95. My deepest feelings.
96. What I like and dislike about myself.
97. What is important to me in life.
98. What makes me the person I am.
99. My worst fears.
100. Things I have done which I am proud of.
101. My close relationships with other people.
Zacchilli‚ Hendrick‚ & Hendrick‚ 2005
Think about how you handle conflict with your romantic partner. Specifically‚ think about a significant conflict issue that you and your partner have disagreed about recently. Using the scale below‚ fill in which response is most like how you handled conflict. If you do not have a romantic partner‚ respond with your most current partner in mind. If you have never been in a romantic relationship‚ answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be.
For each item‚ answer as follows:
A = Strongly agree with statement
B = Moderately agree with statement
C = Neutral‚ neither agree nor disagree
D = Moderately disagree with statement
E = Strongly disagree with statement
102. We try to find solutions that are acceptable to both of us.
103. We often resolve conflict by talking about the problem.
104. Our conflicts usually end when we reach a compromise.
105. When my partner and I disagree‚ we consider both sides of the argument.
106. In order to resolve conflicts‚ we try to reach a compromise.
107. Compromise is the best way to resolve conflict between my partner and me.
108. My partner and I negotiate to resolve our disagreements.
109. I try to meet my partner halfway to resolve a disagreement.
110. The best way to resolve conflict between me and my partner is to find a middle ground.
111. When we disagree‚ we try to find a solution that satisfies both of us.
112. When my partner and I have conflict‚ we collaborate so that we are both happy with our decision.
113. My partner and I collaborate to find a common ground to solve problems between us.
114. We collaborate to come up with the best solution for both of us when we have a problem.
115. We try to collaborate so that we can reach a joint solution to a conflict.
116. My partner and I try to avoid arguments.
117. I avoid disagreements with partner.
118. I avoid conflict with my partner.
119. When my partner and I disagree‚ we argue loudly.
120. Our conflicts usually last quite a while.
121. My partner and I have frequent conflicts.
122. I suffer a lot from conflict with my partner.
123. I become verbally abusive to my partner when we have conflict.
124. My partner and I often argue because I do not trust him/her.
125. When we argue‚ I am easily frustrated.
126. When we have conflict‚ I usually feel hurt.
127. Conflict with my partner often causes strong emotions.
128. When we have conflict‚ we withdraw from each other for a while for a “cooling off” period.
129. When we disagree‚ we try to separate for a while so we can consider both sides of the argument.
130. When we experience conflict‚ we let each other cool off before discussing it further.
131. When we have conflict‚ we separate but expect to deal with it later.
132. Separation for a period of time can work well to let our conflicts cool down.
133. When we argue or fight‚ I try to win.
134. I try to take control when we argue.
135. I rarely let my partner win an argument.
136. When we disagree‚ my goal is to convince to my partner that I am right.
137. When we argue‚ I let my partner know I am in ch‎arge.
138. When we have conflict‚ I try to push my partner into choosing the solution that I think is best.
139. When we have conflict‚ I usually give in to my partner.
140. I give in to my partner’s wishes to settle arguments on my partner’s terms.
141. Sometimes I agree with my partner so the conflict will end.
142. When we argue‚ I usually try to satisfy my partner’s needs rather than my own.
143. I surrender to my partner when we disagree on an issue.
144. How similar are you and your partner in the way you handle conflict?
(A) Completely similar Different‚ (B)‚ (C) Somewhat‚ (D)‚ (E) Extremely similar
Canary‚ Cunningham‚ & Cody‚ 1988
For each statement:
A = Very true of me
B = Quite a bit true of me
C = Moderately true of me
D = A little bit true of me
E = Not at all true of me
145. I tried to change the subject.
146. I compromised with him/her.
147. I calmly discussed the issue.
148. I avoided him/her.
149. I showed concern about his/her feelings and thoughts.
150. I used threats.
151. I avoided the issue.
152. I explored solutions with him/her.
153. I criticized an aspect of his/her personality.
154. I sought a mutually beneficial solution.
155. I shouted at him/her.
156. I tried to postpone the issue as long as possible.
157. I reasoned with him/her in a give and take manner.
158. I tried to make him/her feel guilty.
159. I changed the topic of discussion.
160. I expressed my trust in him/her.
161. I was sympathetic to his/her position.
162. I blamed him/her for causing the conflict.
163. I teased him/her.
164. I was hostile.
165. I ignored the issue.
166. I showed that I lost my temper.
167. I talked about abstract things instead of the conflict issue.
168. I accepted my fair share of responsibility for the conflict.
169. I criticized his/her behavior.
170. I focused on the meaning of the words more than the conflict issue.
171. I tried to understand him/her.
172. I tried to intimidate him/her.
173. I ignored his/her thoughts and feelings.
174. I told him/her how to behave in the future.
175. I denied that there was any problem or conflict.
176. I was sarcastic in my use of humor.
177. I kept my partner guessing what was really on my mind.
178. I avoided the issue by focusing on how we were arguing instead of what we were arguing about.
179. I blamed the conflict on an aspect of his/her personality.
180. I explained why there was no problem at all.
Catania’s (e.g.‚ 1998)
The purpose of this scale is to examine how individuals and their partners communicate about sex. Please read and respond to each statement with your current partner in mind.
For each statement:
A = Strongly agree with the statement
B = Moderately agree with the statement
C = Neutral- neither agree or disagree
D = Moderately disagree with the statement
E = Strongly disagree with the statement
181. My partner rarely responds when I want to talk about our sex life.
182. Some sexual matters are too upsetting to discuss with my sexual partner.
183. There are sexual issues of problems in our sexual relationship that we have never discussed.
184. My partner and I never seem to resolve our disagreements about sexual issues.
185. Whenever my partner and I talk about sex‚ I feel like she or he is lecturing me.
186. My partner often complains that I am not very clear about what I want sexually.
187. My partner and I have never had a heart-to-heart talk about our sex life together.
188. My partner has no difficulty in talking to me about his or her sexual feelings and desires.
189. Even when angry with me‚ my partner is able to appreciate my views on sexuality.
190. Talking about sex is a satisfying experience for both of us.
191. My partner and I can usually talk calmly about our sex life.
192. I have little difficulty in telling my partner what I do or don’t do sexually.
193. I seldom feel embarrassed when talking about the details of our sex life with my partner.
Simpson’s (e.g.‚ 1998)
Please answer all of the following questions honestly‚ both the questions dealing with behavior and the questions dealing with thoughts and attitudes.
194. With how many different partners have you had sex (sexual intercourse) within the past year?
(A) Zero‚ (B) One‚ (C) Two‚ (D) Three to Four‚ (E) Five or more
195. How many different partners do you foresee yourself ha‎ving sex with during the next five years? (Please give a specific‚ realistic estimate)
(A) Zero‚ (B) One‚ (C) Two‚ (D) Three to Four‚ (E) Five or more
196. With how many different partners have you had sex on one and only one occasion?
(A) Zero‚ (B) One‚ (C) Two‚ (D) Three to Four‚ (E) Five or more
197. How often do you fantasize about ha‎ving sex with someone other than your current dating partner?
(A) Never‚ (B) Once every 2 or 3 months‚ (C) Once every 2 or 3 weeks‚ (D) Once every 2 or 3 days‚ (E) Once or more every
For each statement:
A = Strongly disagree with the statement
B = Moderately disagree with the statement
C = Neutral-neither agree or disagree
D = Moderately agree with the statement
E = Strongly agree with the statement
198. Sex without love is OK.
199. I can imagine myself being comfortable and enjoying “casual” sex with different partners.
200. I would have to be closely attached to someone (both emotionally and psychologically) before I could feel comfortable and fully enjoy ha‎ving sex with him or her.
Self-Esteem
Rosenberg’s (1965; Crandal‚ 1973; Wylie‚ 1974) Self-Esteem Scale was included.
use the scale below when responding to each statement.
A = Strongly Agree
B = Agree
C = Disagree
D = Strongly Disagree
201. I feel that I’m a person of worth‚ at least on an equal plane with others.
202. I feel that I have a number of good qualities.
203. All in all‚ I am inclined to feel that I am a failure.
204. I am able to do things as well as most other people.
205. I feel I do not have much to be proud of.
206. I take a positive attitude toward myself.
207. On the whole‚ I am satisfied with myself.
208. I wish I could have more respect for myself.
209. I certainly feel useless at times
210. At times‚ I think I am no good at all.
211. Overall‚ how do you feel about yourself?
(A) Very Poor‚ (B)‚ (C) Average‚ (D)‚ (E) Very Good
212. I have high self-esteem
(A) Strongly disagree‚ (B) Disagree‚ (C) Neutral‚ (D) Agree‚ (E) Strongly Agree.
 
This instrument can be found on pages 160-177  of The Relationship Between Conflict and Communication‚ Sex‚ Relationship Satisfaction‚ and other Relational Variables in Dating Relationships‚ available online at:http://repositories.tdl.org/ttu-ir/bitstream/handle/2346/9978/Zacchilli_Tammy_Diss.pdf?sequence=1

Tammy Lowery Zacchilli‚ 2007. The Relationship Between Conflict and Communication‚ Sex‚ Relationship Satisfaction‚ and other Relational Variables in Dating Relationships. A Dissertation In EXPERIMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY. Texas Tech University

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