Fear of intimacy is generally a social phobia and anxiety disorder resulting in difficulty forming close relationships with another person. The term can also refer to a scale on a psychometric test, or a type of adult in attachment theory psychology.
The fear of intimacy is the fear of being emotionally and/or physically close to another individual. This fear is also defined as "the inhibited capacity of an individual, because of anxiety, to exchange thought and feelings of personal significance with another individual who is highly valued". Fear of intimacy is the expression of existential views in that to love and to be loved makes life seem precious and death more inevitable. It can result from any number of dysfunctional bonding experiences ranging from early childhood parental attachments to relationship failures in adulthood.
Fear-of-Intimacy Scale (FIS)
Note. In each statement “O” refers to the person who would be in the close relationship with you.
1. I would feel uncomfortable telling O about things in the past that I have felt ashamed of.
2. I would feel uneasy talking with O about something that has hurt me deeply.
3. I would feel comfortable expressing my true feelings to O.
4. If O were upset I would sometimes be afraid of showing that I care.
5. I might be afraid to confide my innermost feelings to O.
6. I would feel at ease telling O that I care about him/her.
7. I would have a feeling of complete togetherness with O.
8. I would be comfortable discussing significant problems with O.
9. A part of me would be afraid to make a long-term commitment to O.
10.I would feel comfortable telling my experiences‚ even sad ones‚ to O.
11.I would probably feel nervous showing O strong feelings of affection.
12.I would find it difficult being open with O about my personal thoughts.
13.I would feel uneasy with O depending on me for emotional support.
14.I would not be afraid to share with O what I dislike about myself.
15.I would be afraid to take the risk of being hurt in order to establish a closer relationship with O.
16.I would feel comfortable keeping very personal information to myself.
17.I would not be nervous about being spontaneous with O.
18.I would feel comfortable telling O things that I do not tell other people.
19.I would feel comfortable trusting O with my deepest thoughts and feelings.
20.I would sometimes feel uneasy if O told me about very personal matters.
21.I would be comfortable revealing to O what I feel are my shortcomings and handicaps.
22.I would be comfortable with having a close emotional tie between us.
23.I would be afraid of sharing my private thoughts with O.
24.I would be afraid that I might not always feel close to O.
25.I would be comfortable telling O what my needs are.
26.I would be afraid that O would be more invested in the relationship than I would be.
27.I would feel uncomfortable about having open and honest communication with O.
28.I would sometimes feel uncomfortable listening to O’s personal problems.
29.I would feel at ease to completely be myself around O.
30.I would feel relaxed being together and talking about our personal goals.
31.I have shied away from opportunities to be close to someone.
32.I have held back my feelings in previous relationships.
33.There are people who think that I am afraid to get close to them.
34.There are people who think that I am not an easy person to get to know.
35.I have done things in previous relationships to keep me from developing closeness.
1 = Not at all characteristic of me 2 = Slightly characteristic of me 3 = Moderately characteristic of me 4 = Very characteristic of me 5 = Extremely characteristic of me
Recode items: 3‚ 6-8‚ 10‚ 14‚ 17-19‚ 21‚ 22‚ 25‚ 27‚ 29‚ and 30.
Descutner‚ Carol J.; Thelen‚ Mark H. (1991). Development and validation of a Fear-of-Intimacy Scale. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology‚ 3(2)‚ 218-225.
Doi‚ S. C.‚ & Thelen‚ M. H. (1993). The fear of intimacy scale: Replication and extension. Psychological Assessment‚ 5(3)‚ 377-383
Corcoran‚ K.‚ & Fischer‚ J. (2000). Measures for clinical practice: A sourcebook (Vol. 1). New York‚ NY: The Free Press.
Fallah-Zade H‚ Farzad W‚ 2012. Psychometric Properties of the fear of intimacy scale. Journal of Research in Psychological Health. 5(1): 70-79