Multi-Trait Measure of Equity (MTME)

Social Grace: Some people are sociable, friendly, relaxed in social settings. Others are not.

Intelligence: Some people are intelligent and informed.

Physical Attractiveness: Some people are physically attractive.

Concern for Physical Appearance and Health: Some people take care of their physical appearance and conditioning, through attention to such things as their clothing, cleanliness, exercise, and good eating habits.

Liking: Some people like their partners and show it. Others do not.

Love: Some people feel and express love for their partners.

Understanding and Concern: Some people know their partner’s personal concerns and emotional needs and respond to them.

Accepting and Encouraging Role Flexibility: Some people let their partners try out different roles occasionally, for example letting their partner be a 'baby' sometimes, a 'mother,' a colleague or a friend, an aggressive as well as a passive lover, and so on.

Expressions of Appreciation: Some people openly show appreciation for their partner’s contributions to the relationship—they don’t take their partner for granted.

Showing Affection: Some people are openly affectionate—touching, hugging, kissing.

Sexual Pleasure: Some people participate in the sexual aspect of a relationship, working to make it mutually satisfying and fulfilling.

Sexual Fidelity: Some people live up to (are 'faithful' to) their agreements about extramarital relations.

Commitment: Some people commit themselves to their partners and to the future of their relationship together.

Respecting Partner’s Need to be a Free and Independent Person: Some people allow their partners to develop as an individual in the way that they choose: for example, they allow their partners freedom to go to school or not; to work at the kind of job or career they like; to pursue outside interests; to do things by themselves or with friends; to simply be alone sometimes.

Plans and Goals for the Future: Some people plan for and dream about their future together.

Day-to-Day Maintenance: Some people contribute time and effort to household responsibilities such as grocery shopping, making dinner, cleaning, and car maintenance. Others do not.

Finances: Some people contribute income to the couple’s 'joint account.'

Easy to Live With: Some people are easy to live with on a day-to-day basis; that is, they have a sense of humor, aren’t too moody, don’t get drunk too often, and so on.

Companionship: Some people are good companions, who suggest interesting activities for both of them to do together, as well as going along with their partner’s ideas about what they might do for fun.

Conversation: Some people tell partners about their day’s events and what’s on their mind . . . and are also interested in hearing about their partner’s concerns and daily activities.

Fitting in: Some people are compatible with their partner’s friends and relatives; they like the friends and relatives, and the friends and relatives like them.

Decision-Making: Some people take their fair share of the responsibility for making and carrying out decisions that affect both partners.

Remembering Special Occasions: Some people are thoughtful about sentimental things, such as remembering birthdays, your anniversary, and other special occasions.

Chance to be Dating or Married: Dating and marriage give many people the opportunity to partake of the many life experiences that depend upon dating or being married, for example the chance to become a parent and even a grandparent, the chance to be included in 'married couple' social events, and, finally, having someone to count on in old age.

Opportunities Forgone: Dating and marriage necessarily require people to give up certain opportunities . . . in order to be in this relationship. The opportunities could have been other possible mates, a career, travel, etc.