Management of Differences Inventory – MODI

A: I let emotions and tensions cool before taking decisive action. | B: We find some formula or other criteria we both agree on.

A: I assert myself to gain what I’m after. | B: We jointly develop a mutually agreeable plan that merges both views.

A: I follow my view, and the other person follows his or her view. | B: I give in on some points to get my way on others.

A: I place more emphasis on similarities and less emphasis on differences. | B: We find logical rules we both agree on as the basis for our decision.

A: We take action that lets both parties retain their positions, at least on an interim basis. | B: Within agreed-upon limits, I give control to the other person.

A: I gain agreement for my position by avoiding detail on which we may disagree. | B: I try solutions proposed by the other person.

A: I push to have my approach or my ideas prevail. | B: I go along with the other person’s view.

A: We work out a fair combination of gains and losses for both of us. | B: I get both our concerns out in the open, and we problem solve together.

A: I wait until I feel better prepared to take action. | B: I let the other person come up with the plan.

A: I avoid unnecessary problems by delaying action. | B: We agree to disagree, at least for a while or on an experimental basis.

A: I sell the person who disagrees with me on accepting my view by emphasizing its positive features. | B: I fully express my ideas and feelings, and urge the other person to do the same.

A: We find some formula to resolve our differences. | B: We find solutions in which gains balance out losses for both parties.

A: I do what it takes to get my ideas accepted. | B: I allow the other person, within limits, to resolve our issue.

A: We mutually agree on rules or procedures to resolve our differences. | B: I accommodate myself to the other person’s view.

A: I gain compliance to my views. | B: We acknowledge and allow each other’s differences.

A: I go along with the views of the other person. | B: We work together to integrate ideas of both persons.

A: I minimize presenting information that makes my position less attractive. | B: Within a given framework, I let the other person handle the issue.

A: I wait until I have more information or emotions cool. | B: We find a mutually acceptable compromise by which to resolve our differences.

A: I delay suggesting changes until the timing feels right. | B: I don’t resist the views of the other person.

A: We find mutually agreeable procedures (such as taking a vote or an appropriate test). | B: We find ways to jointly reframe our differences to satisfy both our needs.

A: I give in on some points if I believe the other person will reciprocate. | B: I state my expectation and concerns and let the other person work out a solution.

A: I show the other person that in the final analysis our views aren’t very different. | B: I give the other person a turn or concession if I believe he or she will do the same for me.

A: We find ways that allow each of us to pursue our individual viewpoints. | B: We find solutions that take both our views into account.

A: I deal with differences only after waiting until I feel the time is right. | B: I act in ways that advance my position.

A: We mutually agree on a rule or procedure that will decide the issue. | B: We find ways in which we can both pursue our respective points of view.

A: I yield to the other person’s views. | B: Given acceptable boundaries, I am willing to have the other person handle the issue.

A: I prevail on the other person to change his or her mind. | B: I establish an objective basis with the other person for resolving our differences.

A: I put off dealing with our differences until I have enough information. | B: I resolve our differences by emphasizing where we are not so far apart in our thinking.

A: We settle our differences by working out a compromise solution. | B: I accommodate myself to the other person’s approach.

A: I point out that our differences aren’t substantial enough to argue over. | B: I oppose the other person’s view.

A: I defer making changes until I have adequate support. | B: We find new perspectives that satisfy both our needs.

A: I express some, but not all the negative aspects of my position. | B: I get agreement from the other person to live with our differences, at least for a period of time.

A: We jointly agree to accept a criterion or the decision of a third party as the basis for resolving our differences. | B: Within stated bounds, I encourage the other person to take the initiative.

A: I play to win. | B: I make adjustments when the other person is willing to do the same.

A: I urge the other person to take the initiative within defined limits. | B: We integrate the ideas expressed by both individuals.

A: We agree to follow our separate paths until joint action seems feasible. | B: I go along with the other person’s ideas.